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Post by kazai on Jul 16, 2012 22:48:30 GMT -5
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THE DETERMINING ESSENTIALS
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[bg=#ECECEC][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=align,center,true][atrb=width,425,true] NICKNAME KAZAI RACE HUMAN GENDER FEMALE AGE FIFTEEN SEXUALITY HETEROSEXUAL HEIGHT 5'1" WEIGHT 095 LBS ZODIAC BIRTH SIGN
| [bg=#ECECEC][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=align,center,true][atrb=width,425,true] SOCIAL CLASS UPPER DISTRICT EAST SCHOOL ST. VALENTINE'S CLASS YEAR FIRST GPA 3.2
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[/div][/td][/tr][/table][/center] [bg=#ECECEC][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=align,center,true][atrb=width,425,true] ✶ INTELLIGENT ✶ QUICK-WITTED ✶ AMIABLE ✶ COURAGEOUS ✶ LOYAL ✶ COURTEOUS | [bg=#ECECEC][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=align,center,true][atrb=width,425,true] ✶ MANIPULATIVE ✶ TWO-FACED ✶ MUNDANE ✶ MISCHIEVOUS ✶ HARSH ✶ UNFORGIVING |
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ALEXANDRA'S FATHER IS INVOLVED IN A DARK BUSINESS INVOLVING HUMAN TRAFFICKING AND CONTRABAND. ALEXANDRA, HOWEVER, HAS NEVER KNOWN MUCH ABOUT HER FATHER'S BUSINESS. TO THOSE WHO ARE AWARE OF STREET GANGS AND CURRENT EVENTS, THE NAME ALEXANDER LABELLE MAY STRIKE FEAR. THOSE WHO CROSS ALEXANDER THE WRONG WAY SIMPLY SEEM TO DISAPPEAR. AND THOSE WHO FIND THEMSELVES IN HIS MOST TRUSTED COMPANY RECEIVE MUCH WEALTH AND PRESTIGE. ALEXANDER HAS THE ABILITY TO BOTH, ASSURE AND CRUSH DREAMS.
HOWEVER, ALEXANDRA REMAINS IGNORANT OF HER FATHER'S AFFAIRS, AND HE HAS NO INTENTION OF DRAGGING HIS DAUGHTER INTO ANY OF IT. AS ALEXANDRA GREW OLDER, HE REALIZED THAT SHE WAS BEGINNING TO LEARN MUCH TOO MUCH ABOUT HIS BUSINESS. WHILE HE WASN'T SO CONCERNED THAT IT WOULD RESHAPE HER IDEAS OF HIM, HE WAS FRIGHTENED THAT HER KNOWLEDGE COULD EASILY MAKE HER A TARGET OF HIS RIVALS. THEY MAY TRY TO KIDNAP HER OR HURT HER TO GET TO HIM. IN ORDER TO PROTECT HER, HE SENT HER OFF TO LIVE WITH HER AUNT.
ALEXANDRA DID NOT MIND GOING TO AWAY, HOWEVER SHE HATED THE THOUGHT OF LEAVING ALL OF HER FRIENDS BEHIND AND NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE HER FATHER MUCH. FORTUNATELY, HER BOYFRIEND HAD BEEN SENT TO A NEARBY SCHOOL, MEANING THAT THEY COULD EVEN SEE EACH OTHER MORE OFTEN.
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- Though born in France, Alexandra's father does his business mostly in Vietnam. He also runs his businesses in Afghanistan, Turkey, and Bolivia. Alexandra has been to all of these countries, but was born in Japan.
- Alexandra adopted the nickname Kazai whilst in Japan for simplicity.
- Alexandra has been dating a boy named Sankaku Kuro since junior high school. The boy's father works alongside her own, and the two have come to trust each other. Unfortunately for Alexandra, there aren't many boys who her father would even allow for her to date. Being that Kuro was one of the few that he was okay with, she didn't have much of a choice in the matter aside from waiting until she was an adult before she get into a romantic relationship. Still, she has come to fancy Kuro quite a bit.
- Alexandra is a mathematical genius. She is excellent with Calculus and proofs and can do high-level physics in a matter of seconds. She also enjoys chemistry but hates anything related to language or the arts.
- Alexandra is able to speak Japanese, Vietnamese French, and English fluently.
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[bg=#ececec][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=align,center,true][atrb=width,425,true] IS THIS A CANON CHARACTER? NO PLAYER NAME KAZAI MINASE IORI [b]IDOLM@STER[/b], [i]minase iori[/i], labelle alexandra OTHER CHARACTERS NONE
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Post by CAPTCHA on Jul 17, 2012 11:09:23 GMT -5
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hi kazai, here're some things i'd like you to fix in your app: - why is her nickname kazai? it has absolutely nothing to do with her real name.
- what is her zodiac?
- intelligent, quick-witted, and cunning are all pretty much the same thing. i understand that she's a smart girl, but please include some other traits too. cunning is also a negative trait, not a positive. as such, manipulative already suggests that she is sly.
- neither st. valentine's nor hyaku is a boarding school; make sure that you've read the plot and rules if you haven't.
- as she would be an exchange student... what country did she come from?
- the 'original name' in the faceclaim section is to be the name of her faceclaim.
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Post by CAPTCHA on Jul 17, 2012 20:38:01 GMT -5
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still a few more things to go! - what does it mean that she's mundane, exactly? like, is she ordinary, or is she boring? it's kind of a vague adjective that doesn't really go with all the rest of her traits.
- amiable means that she's friendly, but friendly people wouldn't be harsh, now would they? that just makes little sense to me even given that she's 'two-faced'.
- you still haven't given me her birth sign and you've replaced where it says 'faceclaim' with the actual name of her faceclaim. please change it back.
- also, i'm sorry that i didn't point this out earlier even though i was pretty iffy about it. but rereading her whole app, i came to the decision that she definitely is way too powerful of a character. well-known upper-class family that has so much power over others (she's a foreigner, please keep in mind that this is japan and that we already have very powerful canon families as it is) and mathematical geinus (high level physics in a matter of seconds? really? oh and last time i checked, physics = a science course and not entirely math) and she's a good fighter? it just sounds to me like you're trying to make her too many things at the same time and thus the whole character just screams mary sue, unfortunately. so you're either going to have to cut down on a lot of these things or i'm gonna have to reject this character entirely.
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Post by kazai on Jul 17, 2012 21:02:08 GMT -5
Mundane means unimaginative... it has more than one definition, but when used to describe a person, it usually is the antonym of spontaneous. Amiable means friendly and sociable. This means that she can get along well with people she doesn't yet know. She is harsh in that if you get on her bad side, she can be relentlessly mean and you will know it, though at the same time she will be nice to you while under the public eye.
Her father can be from a different country and have nothing to do with Japan. Then he will have no power there. Is that okay?
Calculus by the way is the derivative of Physics. It was created just so that one can do physics, and a majority of the problems that you would solve in Calculus are physics. (When Calculus was created, there was no distinction between it and Physics... and right now you could still even learn much of Calculus just by taking Advanced Physics or vice-versa.) At the same time, the mathematical applications of Numerical Analysis are for physics.
The good fighter thing was meant to be more comical, as the plot entailed. In real life her fighting style wouldn't work. It's unorthodox, she slaps, scratches, and knees groins... but since you found it dry and bland I removed it.
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Post by SERSHA on Jul 17, 2012 21:53:06 GMT -5
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For future reference, please don't seek to give definitions of the words you're using to the staff. Unless you go into greater details about the meaning in your personality traits, we reserve the right to see the traits from a definition based on consensus. Besides, it just comes off as giving staff an attitude. - Please fill in a zodiac sign.
- If she's a mathematical genius and excels in sciences as well, and assuming she can not only speak but, read and write those languages that you have listed for her, Alexandra's gpa should be much higher. Considering that gym/health and religion are the remaining subjects taught to first years.
- 'ALEXANDRA DID NOT MIND GOING TO AWAY' please correct this part of the third paragraph of your history.
- Please explain who her aunt is and any family member history in that household since Alexandra is living with them. Since they are on the east side (and perhaps foreigners as well, we need to know.)
I'm sorry to say this but, this will be the last time that we will allow corrections on this app. If errors persist on the next go around, we will be forced to reject it.
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Post by kazai on Jul 17, 2012 22:01:12 GMT -5
That's okay. Don't worry about it. Thanks for your time.
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